2013. . .The Opportunities Await

December 27, 2012

A New Year Approaches

I can't believe 2012 is coming to an end.  In just five short days, we will ring in another new year and 2013 will be upon us.  Seems like just yesterday I was saying the same thing about 2011.  Where does the time go, huh?  I remember a childhood full of, "I can't wait until I turn 16 and have my own car" and "I can't wait until I'm 18 and can move out on my own" and "I can't wait until I have a job so I'll have my own money and can do whatever I want".  I looked forward to time passing and the major events that would come my way.  The more forward I looked, the more slowly time passed.  Or so it seemed.  And now?  My parents used to tell me how quickly time would pass as I aged.  Wow!  Were they ever right!  What I didn't know then and have come to fully realize now is how often parents are right!  They certainly called this one right.  Time is flying by!  And there seems to be no way to stop it.  I do not look forward to the day when I simply blink and a new year rings in, though I'm sure that day is coming.

What comes to mind this time of the year?  New Year's resolutions, right?  Isn't that first and foremost in the minds of most?  This year I resolve to. . . lose weight, stop smoking, save money, find a new job, buy a house, take my dream vacation, join a gym, start a new hobby, make new friends. . . and on and on it goes.  Depending on where we're at in life, our New Year's resolutions could be any number of things designed to make us feel better about who we are, what we have or where we're going.  If you're like me, you have committed to a number of resolutions as the clock struck midnight on December 31st year after year only to find yourself backsliding within a day or two or three.  By the time December 31st rolls in again, your last resolution is forgotten altogether and a new one is forming in your mind.

  Four years ago, I looked like this . . .

2008 Christmas Party

Work Party With Friends

Feeling So Good About Me

 I worked so incredibly hard eating right and exercising.  My hard worked paid off!  I lost about 107 pounds in under a year.  And what a year it was!  So many doors opened to me.  Because I felt good about myself. . . on the inside and out. . . I treated others better and they responded in kind.  I had new friends, I had new opportunities, but most of all. . . I had a new me.  And I really liked the "me" I became.  Actually, this "me" existed all along, I just had her well hidden.  For reasons I might never know, I buried my true self beneath layers and layers of fat.  I allowed that fat to create walls between myself and others.  Any way, after working so hard to let the real me surface something happened. . . 

I don't know what. . . 

But the walls came back up. . . 

And I did this . . .

Early December 2012

October 2012 Family Reunion

Christmas Day 2012

I don't know why.  Sugar became my best friend. . . for awhile anyway. . . until it tried to destroy me.  High cholesterol, high triglycerides, high blood sugar. . . that's the report I got from the doctor during my last visit.  Doctor insisted on medication.  I insisted on time.  Time to try and return to my 2008 weight, when my cholesterol, triglycerides and blood sugar were all within normal limits.  Doctor agreed to give me 6 months to see what I could do.

And now, it's up to me.  As 2013 approaches, I find myself excited about the possibilities.  It is within me to create my perfect "me".  So that shall be my New Year's resolution.  I will spend the next year working to shed the walls and free my inner me.  When I stumble and fall, I resolve not to quit.  Instead, I will get back up and renew my resolve.  I can do this.  I can do hard things.  I can do more for myself than a doctor with a prescription pad.  And I shall.  I fully intend to post my progress on this blog.  A way of staying honest with not only myself, but also with all of you.  And if through this process I encourage others to realize their own goals, their own dreams, their own resolutions, well. . . that's all the better.

What New Year's goal(s) have you set for yourself?  How will you achieve those goals?  What will 2013 bring that other years have not?  Please share your thoughts.  I'd love to hear from you!  

Happy New Year's. . . almost. . . to all.  Peace!

                                                                                                             ~Quinn

And It Was A Beautiful Day

My beautiful husband and his loving parents

As Thanksgiving approached this year, I was an anxious mess!  The thought of visiting family who I hadn't seen in months terrified me.  Newly married, I'm overly concerned with making lasting good impressions on my husband's family.  Since we said our "I do's", I have gained a plethora of weight.  Even my earlobes got fat.  Fatter.  Ugh!  Married life has been wonderful.  The security, however, has somehow made me lackadaisical where diet and exercise are concerned.  So I've gained. . . 10, 20, 30, 40 pounds.  I really don't know because the scale is not my friend and I have consciously avoided it like the plague.  In any event, as the big day approached - the day where I knew I'd be forced to see family on both sides - all I could think about was my fat earlobes.  And I was a mess!  My wonderful therapist, Kathy, (and by the way, I firmly believe all women should have a Kathy in their life because she has a creative, cool, funky, wild, genius way of uncomplicating the complicated) convinced me that I was projecting my poor self-image on my family.  She assured me that no one would be judging me on the thickness of my earlobes - no one but me.  And in just one, one-hour session with Kathy, my anxiety was reduced and I was convinced that I could enjoy spending time with family.  And I did.  And it was wonderful!  I am learning that the unconditional love of family is just that - unconditional.  And, if I'll allow it by getting out of my own way, time spent with family over the holidays - or any other time for that matter - can be time spent creating wonderful memories and getting my heart filled with the good stuff. . . unconditional love.   

Backyard Where I Spent Time. . .

Finding beauty

Yes, when I stay out of my own way, life can be. . . and IS. . . amazing.  And to my new family,

I love you more!

How about you?  How did you spend Thanksgiving this year?  Learn anything new about yourself?  Please share.  I so enjoy learning from others.  Peace.  ~Quinn~

Damn You AARP!

It's official!  I have finally arrived!  AARP found me and according to the mailer I received just today, I am now age eligible for membership.  W-H-A-T?  I'm old?  Is that what this means? Oh sweet Jesus say it isn't so!  Just yesterday I flunked my driver's test and had to retake it three times before passing and securing that long awaited license.  No, I'm not kidding!  Three times!!!  But I finally got it and I was so very proud.  I had what it took to get myself far away from parental oversight.  I had independence!  I was 16, I had a car and I was now legal to drive.  And that WAS just yesterday. Or so I thought.  Hmm.  What happened?  Where did the years go?  To qualify for AARP, one must be age 50 or older.  I remember yesterday - when I was 16 getting my driver's license - I thought 50 was O-L-D. Something I would never be!  And now that I'm there - now that I'm 50 (ok, ok, technically 51. . . but is there really much difference?) 16 seems like it was just yesterday.  Perspective.  With age I'm finding more and more that looking back seems like. . . well. . . not that long ago.  And looking ahead?  Hmm.  Well it too seems not so far away.  Very unlike my teen years, when looking back seemed like forever ago and looking ahead seemed like something that would never happen.  It was too far out.  I guess too far out finally got here.  I wasn't ready; I have to admit.  But it happened.  Whether I was ready or not.  And now, thanks to AARP, I am forced to admit that time is passing. . . quickly.  It's time to do now all the things I thought I'd do later. . . when I had more time.  Truth is, I don't have more time. Not much anyway.  Time is running out.  Note to self: Think Nike!  "Just Do It". . . and do it Now!

How 'bout you? Are you finding more and more that your life is passing "too" quickly? What dreams or goals have you put off waiting for "later", when you have more time or more money or more energy or more. . . well, you get the idea, right? When you stop and think about the quickness of this one life, is there something you want to do, can do and will do without putting it off any longer? Please share, won't you? I'd love to hear your ideas! In my "old" age, I fear I've forgotten things, and your comments might help remind me. Thanks for dropping by. Peace. ~Quinn~

I Want To Be A Blogger

Ok, so I want to be a blogger. I don’t know why. I just do. I’m new to blogging relatively speaking. Heck I’m new to everything these days. Wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and wonder. . . who is that looking back? Don’t really know myself anymore. I’m 51 and I’m on this weird journey of self-discovery. Maybe the entire world is. I don’t know. I only know that for me the self-discovery journey only recently began. Could be mid-life crisis I suppose. I don’t know. Whatever it is, I have decided to embrace rather than fight. . . . it. And so I want to be a blogger. I’m not sure what I have to contribute, if anything, that will be helpful or useful to the world at large. I don’t have children. I don’t have grandchildren. I don’t have cool, hip hobbies that I’m exceptionally good at. I don’t travel. . .much. I’m not a photographer; though I’d very much like to be. I don’t own a business; I have nothing to sell. I don’t have a gimmick or trick or. . . well, you get the idea, right? I don’t drink fine wines, stay in hotels with concierge services, cook fine french foods or shop in high-end stores. I’m average. And you know what? I’m ok with that. Average is good. Most of us are, so I’m proud to say that I live a comfortable life among the masses. So here I am. Finding myself with others I imagine that are just like me. Average. . .discovering themselves. . . offering what they have and maybe just maybe creating something wonderful, magical, meaningful, necessary. I don’t know what I’ll get out of this process anymore then I know what I’ll have to offer. But! I can’t wait to find out. How about you? Do you blog? If so, what do you blog about? Does your blog have a theme? If you don't blog, what's stopping you? Thanks for stopping by and please, please leave a comment. I hate talking to myself! Peace. ~Quinn~